making lemonade

a blue true dream of sky

All day, I’ve seen nothing but God’s goodness. I got up early to a beautiful Sunday, and spent it on the water, kayaking with a good friend.

12 miles of sunshine and fresh air and I returned to my home anxious, heart pounding, yearning for something. I decided I was homesick. I decided to go to the 6pm church service.

When I got there the “6pm” service had been moved to 5pm without my knowledge. This simple miscommunication sent me back to that place I had driven to church to escape. “Why am I feeling this way?” I asked myself as I dragged myself, unnecessarily heartbroken, back to my car. “I’ve had a wonderful day, why should I feel so depressed and upset?”.

I decided my answer would come in a book. I went to Borders.

I looked at photography books. A book about climbing fourteeners in Colorado. A book on dream interpretations.

I walked out of Borders with no sense of direction left. I decided I was hungry. I decided to return home.

The kitchen was being used.  Now, having failed at church and at Borders, I wandered around my house for a while still lacking direction. I read a couple blogs. I looked into my old files on my computer. When the kitchen was free I started dinner. I poured myself a glass of V8 and found myself back outside, on my deck, with The Tipping Point.

But I was distracted. Still confused by these feelings that are tearing me up in the inside. Why do I feel so lost? Alone? Confused? I feel at any moment I will either cry or panic.  I looked at my book.

I then realized what my problem could be. I was reading the wrong book.

I went to my shelf in the mudroom, found the book I needed, and returned outside.

Before I even opened it, I felt relief.

“I thank you God for this most amazing day; for the leaping greenly spirit of trees and a blue true dream of sky; and for everything which is natural which is infinite which is yes.”

The book I chose, if you haven’t guessed, was this one.

here is what i'm doing

i'm at work, but i forgot my glasses. i don't like to squint. it's annoying. this is my excuse for not doing data input.

data input.  gah. i'm glad i only work here one more confounded saturday and then i am free.

broke, but free.

but i'm broke anyway because they STILL HAVEN'T PAID ME. i've got an issue with this. a big one.

however, a student did bring krispy kremes in today, and offered me some. i took one (hello! i'm not getting a paycheck, i should at least get a doughnut!) and he was adiment that i take more than one! god love those international students. thanks for the doughnut, fatih!

i love doughnuts.

tomorrow i'm going KAYAKING with my super friend nikki dale. it will be super fun. i'm super excited. and i am going to wear my super ugly shoes. super.

mine are blue though. makes them waaaaay better. i hate purple.

okay i don't HATE purple. but it's my LEAST favorite.

today i'm going to watch some baseball...and then some live music. OH- and i'm going to play with an albino german shepard puppy. here is what he looks like:

you're super jealous, i know! his name is GUNNER. i yub him already.

also, i'm obsessed with these SWEET ANGELS:

they have FRECKLES. i have freckles too. "angel kisses", my mother used to call them.

i'd give THOSE angels some BID SISSES!

hello, gorgeous:

you beautiful, beautiful man you. these are english setters. i YUB dem.

so far this week i have offered to kidna... i mean "dog sit" THREE different dogs; a labradoodle, a setter like mister man here pictured above, and the albino pup. no takers though. huh, wonder why.

perhaps because they know that when i say "dog sit" i mean "take home and keep forever".

i wonder how my roommates would feel about this.

SURPRISE! i brought home a sweet angel yine with FRECKLES!  can we keep him?

summer is...

laying by the pool
freckles
the smell of sunscreen
a coke
a book
a white line on my write where my watch resides
flip flops
tousled blond hair
104 degrees

summer is here :)

proud.

my room looks like a 9 year old lives in it, and as i sat on my bed and listened to this i was thinking how weird it was to be surrounded by such happy colors and prints while i was sitting there listening to my dad and cousin talk about the dark cloud that lingers over my family.

then as i thought about it-- i realized it was a good balance. bad things do happen, people are killed, there are dark clouds in the lives of everyone we meet. so it's nice to have bright happy colors to make you smile.

even if it makes you look like a 9 year old lives in your house.

i'm very proud of Dennis Flemming, Emily Miller and Chris Miller for what they said today on the Charlie Brennan Show on KMOX radio in Saint Louis.

and that's all there is to say about that.