making lemonade

SSB's

the thing about living in close quarters with your sorority sisters is that you quickly learn everyone's secrets.  things i would never know about someone, like what method of hair-removal they prefer or the face they make when applying mascara (often hilarious) or if they wash their hands after using the facilities every time or...

no, no wait. this is the internet. people read this. people who know who i am and who i live with. i should not talk about who i caught plucking that maverick chin hair in the bathroom mirror the other day. or who left their rotting chinese food in the fridge for 2 weeks. no, i should refrain from saying who put a slimy *gag* condom on my doorknob the other day (I'M STILL MAD ABOUT THAT, BTW) or who openly yacks on speakerphone to their long-distance boyfriend using pet names that make me wanna vom on her blackberry... i should probably not talk about that stuff.

because this is a "classy" blog. we keep things "g-rated" around here.

('cept for when we add vodka to the lemonade, which frankly is rather often.)

anyway, i've learned a few things about my sisters and they've learned a few things about me. things i'd prefer them to not have ever learned. SSB's, if you will.

for you non-SATC (sex and the city) fans SSB stands for "secret single behavior".

it's all that stuff that you do to that you would never want your significant other to see.

or anyone else for that matter.

omg, did y'all think i was going to tell you what my SSB's are??? HAHAHAHAHA. no.

i mean, i don't have any! i'm completely perfect! i would never! i'm a lady!

...

i'll tell you what one USED to be though. i USED to enjoy minimal clothing requirements in my single room at home. and although there are no requirements to wear clothes per se, i get the feeling that my sisters would appreciate it if i kept nakedness to a minimum.

but i don't plan on testing that theory any time soon.

okay, also...there is this big one. i would NEVER want a boyfriend to see me do this because it's COMPLETELY AND UTTERLY HORRIFYING AND RIDICULOUS LOOKING.  aaaaand my whole house has seen me doing it. and kate does it too! and sometimes we do it together.

it's the firm.

no, not the 90's thriller staring tom cruise, the stability ball workout.

if you click that link you will be directed to the actual video i've used several times in the upstairs back lounge.  sisters routinely walk by howling with laughter, at the ridiculousness that is too girls swinging giant balls around to music. 

it's pretty embarrassing.  

i always yell back to them something along the lines of "YEAH, LAUGH NOW BUT I'M ON THE ROAD TO A SVELTE BOD, Y'ALL!"

for some reason, this only makes them laugh harder.

i have no idea why.

perhaps it has something to do with the fact that i'm in this position when i say it;

...that and the fact that i'm not anywhere near having a "svelte bod" of any kind.  i would post a picture of what i look like in that position but 1. i'm a sane person and have some sense of pride and 2. i wouldn't want to scare any small children that would happen across that picture.

it's not halloween yet.

I WANNA GO HERE. NOW.

this blog was so much better when i didn't have a life

school is catching up to me, and so is lack of sleep. thank goodness gracious for coffee, i'm running on espresso beans by now.

there is so much going on during the day i don't want to/can't miss, there is rarely time for studying. same for evenings, when many on-campus activities and tri delta events are happening. that leaves studying to begin no earlier than 12:00am, after i've complained that I DON'T WANNA DO THIS about 3 times and right before the MAYBE I CAN PUT THIS OFF A LITTLE LONGER sets in.  no time during the day = 4 hours of studying per night  = 4 hours of sleep = cranky, cranky HG.

my head weighs about 1,000 pounds, or at least feels like it does. and even though my body is tired and clamoring for more REM cycles, my mind is so hyped up on caffeine i almost feel like there should be an illegal limit. with a list of things to do and required events taking place tonight, what am i doing to lighten my load? shorten that list? decrease the number of hours i'm up tonight working on stuff?

nothing. i'm blogging. and pumping my veins full with 3 espresso shots. again.

the point of my procrastination (besides being, well, procrastination) is that i wanted to shout out to the blog-world.  i want to read your oh-so-wonderful and lovely musings, but i simply cannot.  until this weekend- when i have purposefully made myself availible for massive amounts of homework, sleeping and blog rolling.  

i'm lame enough to be looking forward to it a little too much.

i hope y'all are keeping more afloat than i am! see you in a few days!

updates

nothing of particular interest is happening recently. so instead, i will just update.

the academic side of college is going well, not much to report.  i will be doing a post later about my math professor, God love her she is so cute but needs STYLE INTERVENTION.  she's just one of those people you want to put on What Not to Wear and let Stacy and Clinton deal with.  i see potential there! i will not be executing this plan however, as i would like to pass the class.

how do you bring that up, anyway? "we love you, we think you're really great, but the things you call clothes need to be brutally insulted and then thrown away into a giant trash can."  yeah, not so much.

until after the final, that is.

we have our first home football game this weekend, which should be fun. except our football team isn't that great...but if even if they were it wouldn't make much of a difference to me because i don't understand football. it's not like they SUCK or are like D3 or something (D1, actually) but it's not like watching a (insert good college football program here) game. i am an advocate for school spirit however, so i'll cheer hard and try to clap and scream at appropriate times. hopefully sitting next to kate, infamous broncos fan, who can give me the play by play. literally. ha.

sorority stuff continues to go on, and continues to be fun. i forgot how awesome it is to be living in the house.  a lot of times when i'm snuggling down in my super cute bed someone will come in to talk, or run in and jump on me, or pry me out to go on a walk or something.  it's a joy having friends around all the time. every day is better because of it.

like last night, when it was 11:30 but i felt the need to go to the wal mart, and my loving soro sister aubrey gladly took me (in her new car!) without question. 

i HATE HATE HATE the taste of the water here- it tastes like minerals. i feel like my stomach is going to calcify from drinking it. this is a damn shame because water is so good for you and i have a cool new water bottle i'm more than a little obsessed with. to avoid stomach-calcification i decided (at 11:30 last night, which is rarely a good time to decide anything) i needed one of these:

so aubrey drove me to the wal mart where we have "only a 50% percent chance of getting shot" to purchase it.

so far i'm happy with it. i had paige and aubs do a taste test last night and while aubrey's reaction was along the lines of "OMG THE DIFFERENCE IS HUUUUGE" paige was more like "ummm, i don't taste anything."

money well spent.

training for the marathon relay has been going really well. i've increased my milage by about 200% since i started running on a regular basis. i need to tack on one more mile per run to get to 6k, but i think my plan is to start running 4-5 miles a day eventually, and slowly decrease my split time from there.  on nights i don't run i workout at the gym on campus, and if i had a particularly hard workout the day before i'll just do some simple stability ball training.  i only wish i could tell a more significant difference in the way i look, but i guess only time and more training will bring that.

so, at some point i might integrate my dating life into this blog. as of now i'm not sure how to go about it. i haven't talked too much about boys yet, with the exception of mentioning a few ex's, particularly cute boys i meet, and how i feel about dating in general. i don't know what the boundries are as far as what can/cannot be said about guys i may/may not be dating.

i guess we'll just see about that eventually.

so there is your update. Prof What Not to Wear, football, loving tri delta, brita water filter, marathon training and boys.

hope you're having a great day!

never "yeah" always "yes ma'am".

i'd like to think all those years of my proper southern grandmother hollerin' at me to GET THOSE ELBOWS OFF MY TABLE and HANNAH DON'T CROSS YOUR LEGS AT THE KNEE and DON'T SUSTAIN YOUR FORK IN MID AIR and WALK WITH YOUR LEGS CLOSER TOGETHER have made me more of a young lady.

(yeah that last one?? walk with your legs closer together? i don't know either, but i sure got some serious lectures about it when i was last at grandmas house.)

(i swear she makes the stuff up and then laughs at me when i leave the room.)

yes, i went to cotillion. i even own copy of Amy Vanderbilt's Complete Guide to Etiquette thanks to my proper southern grandmother.

so i should be an expert.

"should be" being the two key words there.

since i became a tri delta, i have been upheld to a higher standard of etiquette. this is painfully clear when my proper southern grandmother catches me doing something unladylike (me? never!) and threatens, "I'M GONNA CALL TRI DELTA NATIONALS ON YOU!"

this has become somewhat of a crowd favorite.  my mama likes to make me aware of this fact, as she was not in a sorority and will never receive this threat. but when mama slips up (her? never!) it's enough just to threaten to call my proper southern grandmother.

but really, what is tri delta nationals gonna do when a delta gamma alumni calls to tattle on her tri delta granddaughter for walking with her legs too far apart?

could you imagine that conversation?

let's not. because frankly, the frequency with which that threat leaves her mouth i'm a lil scared to envision the actual conversation...

...because it could potentially happen.

i'm sure all those cotillion classes weren’t a waste though.

but if they weren’t enough, tri delta pulls through yet again.

recently we got a new housemother.  a housemother lives in the sorority house with us for many reasons, but mostly to supervise lawn care, maintenance, the cook, and for insurance purposes. Mom Lynn is our housemother, and tonight at formal dinner (before which my proper southern grandmother reminded me NOT TO SUSPEND MY FORK MID AIR) she made the announcement that she will be holding an etiquette workshop for us very soon, and till then will be leaving place cards with etiquette questions on them for us to mull over and answer at dinner time.

if you ever wanted to know what sorority girls did behind closed doors, now you do. etiquette workshops.

my proper southern grandmother will be so proud.

i've been had!

ladies and gentlemen of the peanut gallery, beware of this trickery! i'll explain.

i've got some wild hair. it's wavy/curly when it behaves, but some days it defies even gravity. usually it holds style really well. but- when i blow it dry it's out to here *stretches arms out really really wide* sooooo i use one of these:

for as long as i've been "hair aware", this tool has been the only thing that tames my mane. one fateful day i was introduced to what is known as a CHI.

a CHI is a professional grade hair straightening tool. they are amazing, and i became obsessed. i loved them. i went to friends who had them and used them compulsively. i don't know what it is about them, but they straighten even the wildest hair. i've heard that it's the product they're made out of, or how hot they get, but whatever it is GETS THE JOB DONE.

i make it sound like a ford pickup or something.

i wanted one of my own for a long time, but was unwilling to pay $120 dollars. then on a trip to target one day (best. store. ever.) i FOUND ONE! FOR CHEAP(er)! thinking i was getting myself a steal, that all the other girls paid upwards of $100 for them in beauty supply stores and i found them at target for nearly 40 dollars less, i happily walked out of that store, chi in hand.

i used that damn chi for TWO YEARS, and i always secretly wondered why mine never seemed to work as well as the other chi's i had used. i chalked this up to a "the grass is always greener" thing, and when along my merry way.

well, one morning this past recruitment i was lucky enough to have 2 underclassmen working on straightening my hair at the same time. while i ate grapes and diet coke, they stood on either side of my head and went at it with my chi and the chi of a suitemate. if you don't believe me, i will post pictoral evidence.  (while i make it sound like i'm a queen bee and my minons the underclassmen cater to my every need, really it was just to get me out of the bathroom faster.) after the job was done, i realized that one side of my head was done beautifully, straight and smooth and shiny, while the other side looked like i'd stuck it in a steam room of about 100% humididty.

not. cute.

it was then that i went on investigating. i examined my chi, and the suitemate's chi. they looked the same except one subtle difference.

subtle, yet still important.

everything else about it was pretty much the same. the fonts, the color, etc. the plug was different, but i just thought i had a different model or something.

but my "chi" lacked a copyright symbol.

oooooh target. i once called you the "best. store. ever.", but NO MORE. you've JIPPED ME! you tricked me into buying a brand-name hair styling tool that was not brand-name at all! you jerks! how could you?? after all the time/money i've spent there!

okay, so i still really like target.

actually, i went there tonight. *hangs head in shame.*

but i'm still angry, grr!

so i've totally been had. and after doing a little research i've found that apparently all those brand-name products that you see in places like target/walmart/walgreens/albertsons/CVS are NOT BRAND NAME, AT ALL. they are NOT "salon quality", they are made in china to smell like the real thing and the packaging may look like the real thing but they are designed just that way. don't fall into this trap! if you're a girl who uses salon quality products, do not purchase them anywhere else but your salon!

so now you've been warned. or am i the last person to find out about this whole deal? cause that's usually how it happens.

at least i wasn't being crazy when i wondered about my chi being not as good- it really WASN'T as good. it's nice to have that  "i'm not crazy" validation.

but i think i'd rather have the option of perfectly straight hair.

what can i say? a girl's gotta have options.

open letter to the on-campus male population;

dear boys,

we think y'all could be really cute! let us girls (Kate and myself) give you some advice. don't be offended, boys. we do this out of love.

1. shave. your. face.
2. throw away any evidence that you ever owned or even THOUGHT OF OWNING "jorts", aka, jean shorts.
3. it's called deod0rant.
4. video games are a hobby. not a lifestyle.
5. it's fine to have/attend LAN parties. just never speak of them if you want to get laid.
6. contacts are a 21st century luxury. take advantage of this.
7. haircuts are cheap.
8. have you thought about leaving KEP and/or your room? this could up your chances for finding a potential girlfriend.
9. stop looking at your feet when you walk. we're not down there. eye contact is a plus. smile for extra points, but only if you have brushed your teeth.
10. once you finally work up the courage to talk to a girl, PLEASE TRY TO REFRAIN FROM FALLING IN LOVE WITH HER. "the chase" is part of the fun!

i'm sorry if that was harsh, boys. we're just so sure that y'all are great- just hiding behind your computers, your long unkept hair and your glasses! and don't rely on the fact that you "don't smell anything" when you lift your arm to inhale your own scent (gross), just bathe. and put on deodorant. it takes 2 seconds and most girls will tell you that when a guy smells nice it makes her instantly more attracted. (sidenote; this does not mean you need to douse yourselves in cologne. that is the opposite of what is good.)

also, a lil scruff can admittedly be cute. but long ass beards? no. hair in some places but not others? NO.

just, no.

trust us.

you'll be lookin' good in no time!

love,
Katie Grace & Hannah Gray

after a while you learn.

after a while you learn the subtle difference between

holding a hand and chaining a soul.

and you learn that love doesn't mean leaning

and company doesn't mean security.

and you begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts

and presents aren't promises.

and you begin to accept your defeats with your head up and your eyes open

with the grace of an adult

not the grief of a child.

and you build all your roads on today

because tomorrow's ground is too uncertain for plans.

after a while you learn that even sunshine burns if you get too much.

so plant your own garden and decorate your own soul

instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.

and you learn that you really can endure.

that you really are strong.

and you really do have worth.

-Veronica Shoffstall

this has significant meaning for me today, and something is telling me that it could have meaning for someone else out there.  i'm thinking of you.

shhh

i'm in the library, and it's really quiet.

and i'm a REALLY LOUD BREATHER when i forget to take my inhaler.

now i'm paranoid that everyone can hear my lungs wheezing for no reason at all.

and for some reason i felt as though that warrented a post?

i think i'm just trying to keep typing in an effort to drown out the whistle of my swollen bronchioles.

i should probably get back to work, huh? but do you know how hard it is to focus when you're trying not to breathe? then again, it's probably hard to work next to someone who sounds like the human equivilent of the 5 o'clock whistle.

 

i'madork.

whoop, there it is

i've been putting it off for quite some time now, but it has found me once again. as i lay in my bed attempting sleep last night, i heard a quiet knock in the hallway. my immediate thought was "maybe it's Becca coming in to tell me about her night", but then i remembered it couldn't be. Becca, my sisser, is 400 miles away back in my hometown.

that was the pang that started it off. suddenly i felt myself longing for my big bed in the house where i grew up. for my sweet yine. for the sounds of familiarity and home. "i will not cry." i told myself, as the pressure in my throat started to build. "i will not wake Paige".

but it's impossible to wake Paige. in fact, it's quite hard to even prevent the girl from going to sleep. i kid you not, it takes about 30 seconds after her pretty little head hits the pillow, and she's out. it's like she tells herself "self, i'm going to bed now, and you will fall asleep." and her body is just like "okay, self! sounds like a plan!". and then it does as it's told.

i've recently been too busy to be homesick, really, and that has played to my advantage. but since this weekend is rather obligationless, i've been able to think.

and honestly, that's rarely good.

just kidding, sometimes i think and it's really good, but sometimes i have atendancy to overanalyze things, and that really is rarely good.

i've been uber lame this weekend. friday really set the tone i think. Kate and i went out to eat and then debabted over what to do next.

K: that was an amazing dinner.
H: and you know what's bad? i'm still hungry. i could go for some ice-cream.
K: hmmm, or a drink.
H: oooh, a drink!
K: liquor store or ice cream?
H: ice cream or liquor store?
K & H: ICE CREAM!
H: and after that, let's do homework!

and that's exactly what we did. and then we went to bed. and then we got up and ran (we're starting to train!) and got healthy food and guess what us party girls are doing tonight?

going to the library.

seniors? more like senior citizens.