Gooey Butter Cake Insides, Deconstructed.

Gooey butter cake is just another one of those annoying Saint Louis inside jokes, like Imos and toasted ravioli. No one gets it but us. We’re annoying, we're aware.

It was an accident. Someone working at a local grocery store was trying to make a regular cake and reversed the proportions of sugar and flour. Bread Co (or Panera to all you non-STL folk) makes a Danish with gooey butter filling. It’s legit.

So when I say I’ve got gooey butter cake insides, it’s a mixed bag. It’s not on purpose, this feeling. Total accident. Similar to having butterflies, but less wholesome. There is more anxiety that goes along with gooey butter cake insides, and less choice.

I love being in control of my emotional state. Don’t get me wrong, I like risk, but controlled risk. Roller coasters provide the best example. Yes, they are terrifying, seemingly dangerous. But not really. You’re safe on them for the most part, and you choose if you want to ride them or not.

Roller coasters give you the butterflies, the adrenaline, your heart in your ears one second and in your hiney the next. But you’re expecting it. You asked for it. You wanted it.

This sticky feeling currently residing in my torso popped up on its own, and it’s not going away without a fight.

It’s good ol’ Appleseed, at it again.

I’m currently experiencing a rather steep learning curve. Am I capable of causally dating? At this point, my friends and I agree, being in a relationship would feel more like a ball and chain than anything else. I’ve got places to go, things to do—I can’t be caring what someone else wants me to do. If they want me to stay or go, what they want for dinner.

I’m very food-oriented, if you can’t tell.

But doing anything casually gives me this yucky state of emotions. I’m accidentally reversing the ingredients; upping the emotional quotient, not adding enough commitment.

In the case of the baker, gooey butter cake became a Saint Louis sensation, another one of those special things that makes the city special. That particular accident turned out to be a fabulous food, enjoyed now in Panera Bread Company’s across the nation.

Somehow, I just don’t know if I will have such grand success. But, maybe it’s worth it to wait and see?